Entry for December 07, 2005

JohnDufresne.com’s web log for December 7 (sorry no permalink, you’ll just have to scroll down), addition to his comments on politics, features another entry ”From the Freezer Jesus Files”, links on miraculous sightings of religious phenomena which folks send him because of his short story, :”The Freezer Jesus”, in his first book, The Way that Water Enters Stone (Norton, 1991. That story, I’m guessing was based on Arlene Garner’s 1987 sighting on her GE freezer in Estill, TN, which was also written about by Memphis humorist and home inspector Walter Jower. The freezer was also the topic of several local sermons.

John’s blog features a picture of thedocumentation of a mystical appearance, on sale on E-Bay for a cool 4.5 mil. (By the way, did I fail to see Jesus in the footprints because I’m Jewish? It wasn’t until I read the caption that I realized you could find His visage on the big toe.)

Okay John, how about creating a new category, sort of like thoseDarwin Fish with feet, as it were, for the Anti-Freezer Jesus Files. My nominee isthe Frankfort, Indiana turtle, Lucky, sole survivor of the Dora’s A-Dora-ble Pet Shop fire in October 2004. The turtle, while happily snacking on shrimp and such, still gives his owner, Brian Dora pause.

As Janis Thorton wrote in the Frankfort Times

Lucky, the palm-sized, red-eared slider, gained fame last October when it was the sole survivor of the fiery inferno that consumed the Doras’ pet store at 57 N. Jackson St. Now they contend the turtle might not have been alone.

Viewing a picture of Lucky’s colorful, bumpy shell shown on their big-screen TV, Bryan Dora points out lips, eyes, a goatee, shoulders and a pair of pointy horns. It’s proof, he says, that the fire attracted more than firemen and spectators.

“The marking on the shell was like the devil wanted us to know he was down there,” Dora said. “To me, it’s too coincidental that the only thing to come out unscathed would have this image on it.”

Having not noticed Satan’s face on the turtle before the fire, the Doras theorize the intense heat may have caused the shell’s coloring to change, thus highlighting the devil-like face.

They think their discovery could prove serendipitous.

Recognizing the uniqueness of Lucky’s tale, Dora produced a DVD, depicting both the turtle’s survival story and the pet shop’s history, including footage of the fire. He titled the DVD “The Pet Shop Story of Lucky the Turtle” and plans to place it for auction on eBay.

Because eBay forbids the sale of animals, he said he will offer the highest bidder the option of buying Lucky separately off-line.

Although parting with Lucky will be difficult for the Doras, they will use the money generated through the sales as start-up money for another A-Dora-ble Pet Shop, he said.

Lucky’s two tankmates, along with about 150 other exotic pets, perished the night of the Oct. 13 fire. Dora can only speculate how Lucky managed to live through the smoke and intense heat.

“Turtles can hold their breath quite awhile. He may have taken one breath just before and held it through the fire,” he said. “Except that the fire went on and on for hours.”

Lacking a concrete explanation for Lucky’s survival, they affectionately call him their “miracle turtle.”

The blaze took out the courthouse square’s northeast section and several county offices and businesses. Its cause was never determined.

A laboratory in Maryland has ruled out natural causes in the samples it tested. Thus, test results leave the fire’s origin a smoldering mystery.

Whether the fire’s outbreak was due to arson or a stroke of bad luck, the Doras steadfastly believe it did contain a supernatural element.

“Regardless of the cause,” he said, “with the destruction and the fire that raged on, I feel the devil was present.

“Out of all the animals that perished, why would it “Out of all the animals that perished, why would it be the one with this image is the only one to survive?”

And here’s my own Freezer Jesus nominee from the Church of the Magnetic Christian fundraiser on E-Bay I figure it’s a tad more economical and readers will have $4,499,996.01 left to buy John’s books or those of others. And with this every freezer can be a Jesus Freezer.

Of course, E-bay is most famous for auctioning off the Virgin Mary grilled cheese sandwich from Florida and a Jesus Fried Pierogi from Ohio. The winning bids? GoldenPalace.com on-line casino, in both cases, for $28,000 and $1,775 respectively. About the sandwich, spokesman Monty Kerr told The Miami Herald

It’s a part of pop culture that’s immediately and widely recognizable. We knew right away we wanted to have it.

Don’t despair if you can’t compete with lucre of thelegalized gambling venue. There’s a more economical Jesus toast (sans cheese) available at Ebay right now. My favorite item in this genre is probably the George Bush toast, which sadly no is longer for sale.



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